I feel great
I just peed on a car
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
