Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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