Why are handjobs necessary in class?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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