I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
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But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
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So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize