Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
