we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
