In the future we'll all be gay
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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