the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
two words...techno handjob
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I deserve to be covered in dicks
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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