I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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