I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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