I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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