I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
