the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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