you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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