omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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