well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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