Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Pants are for mortals
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
