Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
