I think scott just propositioned me for sex
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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