Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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