Say something about gay babies.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
