i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
