She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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