Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
