can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
