Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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