I never want to see another naked old woman again.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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