So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
