I'm jealous of your bromance
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
