I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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