you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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