I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
