i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
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