Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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