As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
