Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
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