My boss' voice literally gives me gas
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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