Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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