I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
