The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
