So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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