this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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