great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Actions speak louder than pants.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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