HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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