Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
3 2 1 whiskey
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
