Christians are straight up FREAKS
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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