I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
well you can't waste a boner
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
