i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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