Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
