I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
