And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
