He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
porn star boner night. come get it.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
