is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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