so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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