You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
