Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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