ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
