u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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