is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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