I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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