I just made out with a guy for $7.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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