He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
