i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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