belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
